I Can’t Do GOLF!

There’s something wrong with me. I live in Arkansas (the Natural State) but I have no interest in hunting (still don’t understand how they can call that a sport). I live in the bible belt but I’m an Agnostic. And I’m a corporate executive but I don’t like to golf. Any ONE of these offences would make me a social outcast in my community, but I’m guilty of all THREE. To counter balance the scales I live in a dry county but I drink like a fish. Somehow that still doesn’t work in my favor.

Now I have a lot of respect for people who play golf. That respect is borne from me having tried, and tried, and tried to grow to like the sport by playing it with family, friends, and my executive cohorts. It is an extremely difficult sport that takes years to master. My problem is that I can never get motivated to devote the time to develop the necessary skill set to at least appear competent. And it’s not that it’s not entertaining either. There is nothing funnier than seeing a group of people diving for cover when an errant swing sends a ball careening their way. Or seeing a group of inebriated gentlemen in the group ahead of you “moon” the ducks on the pond they just lost half a dozen balls in. Or reaching a green in two strokes, only to 10 putt. No sir, golf can be downright hysterical.

My family was in town this past weekend and so being the good son that I am I arranged for a group of us to go golfing. Tennis, basketball, soccer, flag football, roller blading, softball, biking, and a long list of other sports that I am good at weren’t an option because my father is 71 and my father-in-law is 69. So golf it was. Of course no decent golf course is within less than an hours driving distance (that must be some hidden golf code). So between the commuting and the 18 holes, we spent 7 hours “golfing” Saturday.

Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed the time with my family and the laughs and joshing that took place during the day. You would think that I would spend more time trying to learn the game that most everybody else in my family enjoys, for no other reason than self preservation. You see, high score always pays.

Like I said……there’s something wrong with me.

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