Six Guaranteed Ways to Boost Your Sex Hits (Oops, I Meant Site Hits)

I’m postponing my return to regular writing-related content for one more day so I can share a few insights I’ve gleamed from my years of surfing the internet. Specifically, I want to show you how to increase the traffic on your web site or blog. I’m not talking about high-brow methods such as making sure to post quality content, utilizing interviews with published authors or the occasional contests to give-away ARC’s. No sir. I’m talking about those low-rent techniques you’re more likely to find being used on web-sites your security filter would deem restricted. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure this stuff out, just observant, and willing to lower your standards a bit. So, without further adieu…here are my six simple tips

1. By far, the single most important element in getting web-browsers pointed in your direction is the title of your post, or web-link. Every self-respecting salesman has ever been taught, “Getting them to walk through that door is half the battle.” And one of the most popular tricks used is structuring your blog post in the form of a numbered list. If you look around most popular browser home-pages such as YAHOO or DIGG, you’ll see multiple examples of what I’m talking about. This is a sampling just today of the real articles seeking attention on my own startup page.

Nine Most Badass (And Possibly Insane) Sports Of All-Time
Five Dance-Pop Remakes So Bad You’ll Puke
Ten Disappointing NFL Teams
Five Scary Cancer Questions
Eight Reasons you should watch Stargate Universe tonight
Five Things We Want to Know about MC Hammer’s Jaz-Z Diss Video
The 25 Hottest Women Born in November
Five Reasons Why Bert & Ernie Should Come Out of the Closet

2. Whenever possible, use the word GUARANTEED in your title. Let’s face it, most people are gullible and will fall for that gimmick every time, at least enough to get them through the door and reading the first paragraph of your blog.

3. Technically, this could be considered 2B because it also involves the title. Find a way to work the word SEX into your title. Do I really have to explain that one?

4. Change your domain name so it includes key wording used in the most frequent Google searches. For example: http://dlcruisingaltitude.dallascowboycheerleaders.blogspot.com.

5. Window decorations never hurt!





6. Finally, it doesn’t matter what you do to get the traffic flowing in your direction because unless you entertain them once they arrive, they won’t be back. So you’d better make sure you elicit one of four things from your visitors while they are here…a nod of the head, a chuckle, a sigh, or a tear. The internet is vast and counter-oriented to our attention spans, so here…more than anywhere…make every word count!

I hope everybody understands that my tongue is firmly planted in cheek, and I would never actually utilize any of these techniques. I do have some measure of self-respect, after all!

*wink*

37 comments

  1. I want you to do me a favor and look at your stats tonight just to see how many people hit your blog to see who's looking for DALLAS COWBOY CHEERLEADERS.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey! it works! it was the pic of the hunky guy that drew me in! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hehe...now I need to figure out what to change my domain name to. Maybe andthistimeconcentrate.howtomakeacocktail.blogspot.com?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't know, I really liked your address idea. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL- great post DL, I came for the manly picture :)

    The idea of changing the web address was interesting. makes me wonder how many people do that- I'll have to start paying closer attention.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You know, as someone who works for an SEO company, I can tell you that you hit on almost everything :) Except for one thing ... Write some text with the keywords you're targeting at the bottom of your page. Make sure it's super spammy "writers, authors, aspiring author, crime author, mystery author, etc." Then, change the color of the text so it matches your site perfectly. Voila! (By the way, I totally don't recommend this as it can get you blocked from the search engines).

    ReplyDelete
  7. *snort* That was awesome. Loved the title of you post. *wink, wink* *nod, nod*

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fantastic post! I'm going to have to experiment with those key words. LOL...you know for a laugh. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. **creepy sits up and blinks after staring dreamily at the eye candy** 'what?' 'how did I get here? I was just looking up the guarenteed photos of sexy dallas cowboys and here I am...':) :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Too funny! Thanks for starting my day off with a good chuckle. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. haha it's true though. anytime I post a picture of a shirtless guy my visitor count goes WAY up!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi,

    Yeah, but nothing like having a *secondary blog* that implies raunchy and has a bit of eye candy for both sexes plus an a bit of sexy prose = guaranteed to up hit margins, and a bit of subtle tease might lure a fair few to *normal* blog: though I'm not sure my last entry o the fairytale blogfest was normal! ;)

    best
    F

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ha ha, I'm sure you're getting all sorts of interesting hits on your blog today. ;) And Kate, huh? She's my DH's fave, too.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Damn, and I was all set to do a huge feature on Kate Beckinsale in the buff!

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is good to know. My most viewed post on my blog is my post about a diorama I made out of Peeps for a contest. Maybe next year I should make a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader diorama contest.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Or you could add Barbie and Ken to your title. I'm still getting hits from that one when I used it:)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Your title works, or did it? Boring ole me was just cruising down my blog feed for the morning and I saw the word, hum, 'sex'. I would have read it anyway...of course. Good advice if that's what you want..:)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Excellent observations, D.L. And I always knew you secretly harbored Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader leanings. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Liked your *wink* at the end - and the fact that you did manage to weave so many of the tips into this actual post!

    As they say, sex always sells...

    ReplyDelete
  20. Summer R. ~ I don't blame you. I wasn't joking, a lot of disreputable sites use that technique.

    Francine ~ I can barely keep up with one blog!! :)

    Sara ~ Your DH has excellent taste...on both counts! :)

    Carrie ~ Great idea!

    L'Aussie ~ Sure...sure...you would have read it anyway. *snort* :)

    Adina ~ I just had something in my eye. *grin*

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL :) Love this list! It's amazing how many people do these! :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Love your post, had me chuckling for sure :) Might see what I can do to put these into practice ;)

    Off to pop your link in my Twitter Tip Thursday post - bet I can guess which one of the links will be clicked on the most :)

    Rach

    ReplyDelete
  23. HMMM, I thought I was going to learn something about, well you know s-x????

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ha! That's awesome. I shall now try to work in all of the techniques. One post that I still get hits on is "Sometimes I Sing in the Shower--Wanna See?" It had nothing to do with what you might think, but people are...well.

    On a side note, I really hate it when "Adult" sites take a well known brand and then alter one letter to make it their URL. Very annoying. Especially for fast typers who get a lot of typos when typing in URLs.

    ReplyDelete
  25. LMAO. You're gonna get like 500 new hits from this post alone. All kinds of great search terms in there. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  26. haha! So true! Just named my latest post Going Soft. Thanks for the tips ;)

    ReplyDelete
  27. The funny thing is, "sex" caught my eye, but I was actually hoping for advice on respectable ways to draw readers.... But I'm sure you were going to make that your next post, once you garnered all those new followers with the guaranteed cheerleader sexwords.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I know a blogger that put a picture of Edward (from Twilight) and got a ton of hits that day.
    Just sayin'...

    ReplyDelete
  29. You had me at the pic of Ian Somerhalder.

    Did you know that he is in love with me, but doesn't know it yet.

    Sad, but true story.

    :))

    ReplyDelete
  30. Pictures of Ian never hurt..... ever. Your only mistake was that you didn't post more than one ;)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh this is funny. I just did a post on Sex in literature like two days ago. and yes, it's the first word in the post title.

    J

    ReplyDelete
  32. I'm going to put "sex" in every title of every story that I write now. Thanks for sharing the secret! :D

    ReplyDelete
  33. Kelly ~ Thank you! :)

    Rach ~ I'm honored!!

    Jessica ~ "Going soft" huh? Sounds like a downer. :P

    Amandasaurus ~ *cough cough*

    Lydia ~ Please...how that pasty dude interests the girls I'll never understand!!

    Julie ~ On No!! I've turned you into a sex-fiend!! :)

    ReplyDelete

 

Archives

Blog Blitz

Design by: The Blog Decorator