WRiTE CLUB – Round 2


So far, WRiTE CLUB is a rousing success and it will be really hard to top the level of competition we witnessed in round one, but call me silly, I think we're just getting started!  Hurry up, find an open seat.  Things are getting a bit tight in here, seems like the word about WRiTE CLUB has been making the rounds and tickets are going fast.  That's alright, we're all friends here so let's get cozy.  The action is about to begin.

Our submissions continue to roll in, so let me remind you about RULE # 8 - If this is your first week at WRiTE CLUB, you HAVE to WRiTE.  That means that one of our WRiTER's will be selected from the newby pool, and the other WRiTER will come from the existing pool.  My wife is doing an excellent job of keeping things organized and allowing everything to remain 100% anonymous.

So, without further ado....


Here are this week's randomly selected WRiTER's.

Standing in the far corner, weighing in at 250 words, please welcome to the ring……..

TRIXIE LaRUE

Ian jumped off the couch as if ice water had been poured over his head.  I giggled because, for some reason, I found it endearing.  He brushed his fingers through his hair and looked around the living room like he expected my mom to jump from behind the furniture at any moment.

I sat up and smoothed down my hair.  “Don’t worry.  She’s locked herself in her room and probably won’t come out until tomorrow.”

He sat down next to me, not saying or doing anything until his breathing slowed.  When it did, he rubbed his eyes, then turned his head to look at me.  I smiled timidly.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“Like, on a date?”

He smiled.  “Yes.  I was thinking we could get some dinner and see what’s playing at the theater.”

My heart fluttered beneath my chest.  My first kiss and my first date all in one day.  Granted, they were in the wrong order, but I was past caring.  I nodded.  “I need to get changed first.”

“I’ll go tell Greg so he can go home.  Plus, I have to grab my car.”

“Wait.  You can drive?”
He raised an eyebrow.  “I’m sixteen.  Last time I checked, that was the legal age.”

I was dating an older man!  At least, I hoped we were dating.  Kissing on couches and in the middle of the woods, followed by dinner and a movie constituted as dating, didn’t it?  Well, in my world it did

And in the near corner, also weighing in at 239 words, give it up for ……….

JAMIE STUART

Charlene Gentry didn't know what to expect when she died. She wasn't necessarily an evil person, so would heaven welcome her? She wasn't an angel, either, so would hell be her destination? Not that she had a choice, but she assumed those were her only two options.

Certainly not 5542 Sycamore Lane.

She must be dead. How else could she explain the view of her bedroom from above? She didn't own a mirror on the ceiling, as badly as she had dreamed of putting one up there. And the eyes of the body – her body – lying on the bed below were closed.

The front door slammed. "Charlie? You here?"

Robbie. Her big brother finally made it. Was he in time? How long had her body been lying there? Minutes? Hours?

"I'm in the bedroom!" She yelled, but did he hear her? Dammit! How could she move to him? Was she stuck up on the ceiling for all eternity?

The sliding door to the backyard opened. "Hey, fella. Whatcha doing out here?"

Barnaby's claws ticked, ticked, ticked, as they skittered across the kitchen floor. Soon the chocolate lab burst through the bedroom door, Robbie close behind.

"Charlie?" He rushed to her body and placed his fingers against the neck.

Did he get a pulse? Was she still alive? He pulled out his cell.

"It's my sister. I think she OD'd."

"No, I didn't," she said. "It's not what you think."


You folks have your work cut out for you again.  It’s up to you to decide who moves forward to join ANNE SHIRLEY in the semi-final round, and who will return to WRiTE another day.  In the comments below leave your vote for the winner of round 2.  Get your friends to make a selection as well.  The voting will remain open until noon Sunday.  

Remember, here in WRiTE CLUB, it’s not about the last man/woman standing, it’s about who knocks the audience out!

The results will be posted Sunday night, just ahead of ROUND 3 which will happen next Monday.   You can throw your pen name into the hat anytime during the first twelve rounds by submitting your own 250 word sample.  Check out the rules by clicking on the badge below…then come out swinging!


PS. Stop by again Wednesday for the announcement of a truly special Blogosphere event!

27 comments

  1. ooo! This is fun! Great work, both writers, but I have to say, it was #2 for me (Jamie Stuart). Yay! :o) <3

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  2. Stuart's is the most intriguing and gives one a sense of place and urgency.

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  3. oh another tough one! Both have great voice but I was more intrigued by number two. It's hard when two different genres go up against each other tho. :)

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  4. Tough pick, but I'll go with Jamie Stuart.

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  5. #2 Jamie Stuart for sure. It pulled me in and kept my attention.

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  6. The voice was great in the first excerpt, but my vote definitely goes to Jamie Stuart. Though the scenario has been done before, I was intrigued by the way Jamie handled it. And I loved the hook in the last line. Brilliant. Would love to know what really happened, lol!

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  7. Hi!

    Just stopping by to thank you for dropping by last week and commenting on my interview over on the Piedmont Writer.

    I really appreciate Anne offering her forum. Great lady. Great writer.

    Regards,
    Mac

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  8. I'm going to have to go with TRIXIE LaRUE. The sheer number of questions in the second one kinda got to me ...

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  9. Again - two intriguing excerpts! I like the voice in both - and both intriguing scenes.

    I'll have to say Jamie Stuart edged out a win for me here :)

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  10. Awesome entries! My vote goes to Jamie Stuart!

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  11. This is such a tough call. I loved the anxiety that's apparent in the second one and the anticipation of the first one. But for the purpose of selecting the one I would read further, I would go with #2, Jamie Stuart.

    I think it came down to the last sentences honestly. The last one left me with a need to know what REALLY happened.

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  12. A toughy.

    I go with Jamie Stuart.

    ....dhole

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  13. Wow! Two great entries (again), but I'm going to go with Jamie.

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  14. Ooh, another great set. I chickened out from voting last time, but I know I can only get away with that for so long before you virtually slap me, so...I'm voting for Jamie Stuart. I thought it struck the right balance between economy of words and atmosphere, and I have a slight preference for edgy.

    But Trixi LaRue's piece is adorable and gave a great sense of that fluttery first kiss.

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  15. So, so tough--tougher than last week. But...I think I'll go with door #2! :-)

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  16. I am Brazilian and I am following your blog, you can follow me too?

    www.jaylsonbatysta.blogspot.com

    abraço!

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  17. Two more great entries! My vote goes to Jamie Stuart.

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  18. Ooh! Jamie Stuart - awesome.

    First one is cute, but I'm not into YA... sorry!

    Cyndi

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  19. Argh...this is tough. I have to go with Jamie Stuart since I need to know more about what happened in this story.

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  20. They were both great, but Jamie's really made me want to keep reading. :)

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  21. I'll have to say Jamie Stuart. I'm dying to know if she ever got to come off that ceiling.
    My Blog

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  22. This was another tough one because they are so different! Had to come back and read them both again.

    My vote is for Jamie Stuart.

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  23. Ohhh! I hope i'm not too late for this! I've had limited interet access recently, and just remembered about this today!

    Man, both these entries were really good this week.

    #2 for me (though i alllllmost chose #1)

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