WRiTE CLUB – Round 3


We are two weeks in and although I would like to report that WRiTE CLUB is going strong, the truth is it stumbled a bit last week.  But we now have a pair of WRiTER's who have already advanced to the semi-final rounds and just ten more chances for someone to join them there.

Last week we witnessed a clashing of different styles, which prompted some murmurs about maybe it wasn't fair to have samples of different genre's in the same ring together.  Broader still, maybe WRiTE CLUB is inherently biased towards YA WRiTER's since it seemed like the majority of the blogosphere (at least this hemisphere of it) is populated by those working in the YA genre.  I do not accept either of those postulations, for many reasons, but the primary one being that I believe visitors to WRiTE CLUB...regardless of the genre they practice in...can recognize excellent writing!  And it doesn't matter if that writing is YA, MG, Sci-Fi, Horror, Mystery, Fantasy, etc...etc.  I'm confident that the WRiTER's that have chosen to submit their work (which I have the utmost admiration for) did so knowing that those 250 word snippets would stand on their own, without the benefit of plot or theme, and though there may be an element that suggests a specific genre (vampires are a dead giveaway), it is the way the scene is weaved that would be judged.

That's my story...and I'm sticking to it.  And as they like to say, the proof is in the pudding, so we'll see how this experiment of mine turns out.  Although the number of votes submitted in Round 2 was only down a little, the number of page hits was down almost 50% from week 1.  That raises another question...do you leave a vote even though neither of the submissions appeal to you?  It's a personal choice, but I will say that in some small part WRiTE CLUB is helping to improve each participants writing via the input received in the comments and your votes.  Leaving without posting a comment benefits neither WRiTER.

Submissions continue to trickle in (you guys ROCK!), and once again let me remind you about RULE # 8 - If this is your first week at WRiTE CLUB, you HAVE to WRiTE.  That means that one of our WRiTER's will be selected from the newby pool, and the other WRiTER will come from the existing pool.  So, without further ado....



Here are this week's randomly selected WRiTER's.

Standing in the far corner, weighing in at 250 words, please welcome to the ring……..

NANOSH

Jonah swiped an escaped tear from his cheek and eyed his brother Derek’s bent back suspiciously.

“Come on; three running steps, a quick leap from my back, and you’ll be over the creek before you know it.”

A breeze fluttered Jonah’s turquoise and black butterfly wings. All the other fairies in his clan had a double set of opaque dragonfly wings. Another tear threatened to drip onto Jonah’s cheek, but he furiously blinked it away.

Derek had folded his wings close along his body as he knelt froglike in front of the wide, rushing creek. His face, peeking out from under his slender, bare arm, sported a wide grin.

“Nanosh said I couldn’t fly over water,” Jonah argued. “The mist will collect in the hairs before I can get across. I am too slow.”

Derek twitched his wings like he was ready to buzz across the water. “Just get high enough the dampness won’t weigh you down.”

“You’re coming too, right? Otherwise, how will I get back?”

“See that tree branch,” Derek answered, pointing to a Laurel not far from the other bank.

“Once you have a gooseberry, get a good running start and leap as high as you can. You’ll make it. Your wings are strong enough.”

Jonah twitched the velvety wings that wouldn’t fold. Something about this challenge didn’t sound right to him, but he was sure his older brother wouldn’t tease him like the others.

“Bring back one gooseberry and nobody will ever doubt your wings again.”

And in the other corner, weighing in at a mere 161 words, let me introduce to you ……..

TIMOTHY NINE

Creatures of habit are easier to catch and beautiful Edie Grace was as predictable as a James Bond love affair. For three weeks, he studied her, peering into her life… her soul. He loved her youthful movements, so graceful. She now belonged to him.

Through the front window, he watched Edie jumped onto her sofa and sit cross-legged in front of the television. Avid fan of Wheel of Fortune, her fisted hands move up and down in front of her chest as the wheel went round. As the needle passed every number, she mouthed, one thousand, one thousand and finally called out a letter in turn.

G as in girl.

He smiled. Yes, and what about B as in beautiful or D as in dead? Oh, the hours he stood watching were about to end. Excitements filled his stomach and his heart beat rapidly. He longed to be inside — with her. No, he must be patient; he knew the perfect time.

Now it’s up to you.  Which of these two sample resonated the most?  In the comments below leave your vote for the winner of round 3, along with any sort of critique you would like to offer.  Please remind your friends to make a selection as well.  The voting will remain open until noon Sunday.  

Remember, here in WRiTE CLUB, it’s not about the last man/woman standing, it’s about who knocks the audience out!

The results will be posted Sunday night, just ahead of ROUND 4 which will happen next Monday.   You can throw your pen name into the hate anytime during the first twelve rounds by submitting your own 250 word sample.  Check out the rules by clicking on the badge below…then come out swinging!

Where words are the true knockout!

PS.  There's a pretty amazing blogfest going on that you may be interested in.  Check out the Deja Vu Blogfest scheduled for December 16th.

28 comments

  1. Great entries this week for Round 3! I thought the voice of the first selection was good and seemed to match the young narrator Jonah perfectly. However, I was more drawn to the voice of the creepy narrator in the second selection. B for Beautiful or D for Dead. -- ooh! goosebumps! My vote this week has to go to Timothy Nine. Well done :))

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  2. Always so hard to choose a side! I want to know if Jonah's about to get tricked.

    This week I'm going with #2. I want to know who's dead (or about to be...)

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  3. I liked the first one but I LOVED the second one. Great voice!!!!

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  4. This one is hard. Both had good points and bad, but in the end I choose Timothy Nine. I'm more impressed with the strong villain-type character than the weak one.

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  5. Timothy Nine for me this morning! I like me a good stalker

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  6. I had no idea about your little club! I'm going to go with the second entry. I LOVED the "B for Beautiful or D for Dead." I liked that it was creepy, but not too creepy. I want to know why he's so obsessed with Edie. She seems sweet. We don't hear much about her, but maybe it's her innocent love for Wheel of Fortune. I hope she doesn't die!

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  7. I'm not much for stalking, so I select the first one.

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  8. Wow, wonderful entries. However, I'm a mystery writers so I'll have to go with entry #2.

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  9. My vote goes to NANOSH - it seems like I have a knack for rooting for the underdog ...

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  10. I think this is a good match, even though the styles are different. I liked the playfulness of the first selection, however, for whatever reason, I was more interested in continuing with the second selection.

    So I guess my vote's for Timothy Nine. Great work, guys! :o)

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  11. I'm rooting for the first selection- Nanosh.

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  12. Yikes! ANother difficult week! These are both great - different voices, different tones. Hmmmmm...

    I'm going to throw my vote to Nanosh :)

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  13. I agree with you: it's the writing, not the genre, that counts!

    I'm leaning towards Timothy Nine for Round 3 (despite the tense error "watched Edie jumpED"). The first entry didn't grab my attention as much.

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  14. I had a tough time with these two, but I'm going with the second one.

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  15. These were both great. I was really torn, until I read "D as in dead" - great line! I'm going with #2.

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  16. Ooh, fabulous entries once again! I loved the first one - the voice seemed to leap out at me.

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  17. I liked them both. It's so hard to choose. I want to find out if Jonah was being tricked. My vote, however, goes to Timothy. I love a good murder mystery.

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  18. Just left a comment but it got eaten. It basically said: impressed with both entries, but the shorter one gets my vote. #2 all the way!

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  19. I really liked the first one. It sounds like a coming of age story for a male. Anyone who mentions gooseberries should automatically win! (wink)

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  20. #2 Timothy Nine
    Short concise and descriptive. Gets to the point.

    Not exactly my type of story, but I like this style of writing.

    DL - I sincerely appreciate the comment you left on my blog today. It meant a lot to me.

    I'll try to participate more'here' when NaNois over.

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  21. I have been meaning to stop by and participate in this, but I got so caught up with NaNo and other writing obligations. I am here to vote, however. I have to go with number two. It was short, but there was something exciting and suspenseful about it that really grabbed me. I am dying to know who is dead or rather who is about to die. Maybe dying to know wasn't the best word choice, but his voice made me do it.

    Number two is spooky, creepy and has the tension that I look for in writing.

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  22. Ooh, these both are great! But I have to go with #1!!

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  23. Arg! It's so frustrating that it's this difficult to choose. I was enchanted by the first and then came the second. Hmm...I'm going to vote for the second. It got me on quirkiness.

    I agree 100% with you about good writing showing through no matter the genre.

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  24. I liked the writing in # 2 better, BUT I liked the story in # 1. So I'm gonna say #1 today. :)

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  25. My vote is for Timothy Nine. It grabbed me and I wanted to read more!

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  26. My vote is #1

    The creepy voice is alluring in #2 though.

    .....dhole

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