J is for Jokes


J is for Jokes

Here's a couple of my favorites for your enjoyment.

Cussing
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. “You know
what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we started cussing".

The 4-year-old nods his head in approval.

The 6-year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna
say something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'.

The 4-year-old agrees with enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he
wants for breakfast, he replies,"Aw, hell Mom, I guess I'll have some
Cheerios".

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets
up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit,
slapping his rear with every step.

She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay in there until I let
you out."

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old and asks with a
stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be
Cheerios."

Never Argue With a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.  Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

  
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

36 comments

  1. LOL! I've read the first one before, but the second one's genius!
    Thanks for the laugh!

    J.C. Martin
    A to Z Blogger

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  2. Well done! I hadn't heard either of them before. You're right - beware a woman who reads (I'll have to remember that one)

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  3. Brilliant - brightened up my day. Thank you.

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  4. Half the time I don't get jokes, but the Cheerios one made me laugh out loud.
    Karen

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  5. That was a good laugh to start the day. Thanks!

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  6. They both made me laugh (although the first one probably shouldn't have). The second one made me glad I wasn't drinking milk. It's such a pain when I spew milk on my computer screen because I'm laughing.

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  7. Spending the day with a six year old. If she tries any of that I'll be ready.

    Maybe tomorrow I'll spend the day with a Fish Cop. At least,I'll be prepared.

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  8. Still laughing.... Very funny! Awesome post! It's true, you know...don't argue with a woman!

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  9. Love these! Thanks for sharing - great topic for mid-week.

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  10. LMAO! I love the one about the second. I'm still laughing and thank you for that, Don!

    Sia McKye OVER COFFEE

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  11. Love those jokes. Did you make them up?

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  12. ROFL!

    I'm totally laughing... Seriously too funny, D.L. :D

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  13. Haha, that woman is my new idol. That's the best response ever. Awesome joke.

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  14. I'm laughing because she totally refers to uh, his stuff as equipment! I like J for Joke, lol. :)

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  15. I've heard both of these, but they are great jokes!

    Excellent choices, Don!

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  16. They were both great but, of course, the second one was awesome.
    Thanks for sharing!
    Heather

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  17. LOL! Love 'em! I've heard the downfall of civilization began when women learned to read.

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  18. The double moral of the story is don't Mess Mama...she may not fish, but she doesn't spare the Rod and Read! Sorry...it's weak, but it's a comment...and I really got a good LOL with this visit...thanks!

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  19. lol Great jokes. Thanks for sharing them.

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  20. Of course I'm familiar with both of these. What's nice is that they're still funny even after several reruns.

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  21. Ha! Loved both of these!

    New follower. :) Thanks for stopping by my blog - great to meet you through A to Z!

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  22. Those were awesome! Thanks for the giggles. :)

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  23. Thanks for the laugh! I didn't know either of these.

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  24. Both of these are great. I actually laughed out loud. Thanks for the jokes.

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  25. Great post! I wish more people would post Jokes for the letter J!

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  26. Hi...I'm hopping over from the A to Z Challenge. Lovely blog...good luck with the challenge!

    Donna L Martin
    www.donasdays.blogspot.com

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  27. Thanks for the laugh. Loved the first one,l especially. Made me think of what my kids might have said. LOL

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  28. Hah! I'll be using those myself. :D

    Did you hear about the fly on the toilet bowl? He got pissed off.

    =]V[=
    The Brew Newb

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  29. Those were hilarious! Thanks for following me. ;)

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