10 Warning Signs That Your Novel Might Be In Trouble



1.          One of the readers usually considered a lock (wife/hubby/significant other, mother, brother, sister, etc.) thinks your book is "alright".
2.          After deciding to print out your novel for copy-editing, it takes two of you to lift it.
3.          Your cat suddenly abandons the litter box and starts using your manuscript instead.
4.          All of your query letter emails are returned with a cease & desist notification for spam abuse.
5.          After practicing your elevator pitch on one of your co-workers, they respond with, "I saw that movie last week!"
6.          You believe that anything J.K. Rowling can do, you can do better, which explains your Part One of Eight subtitle.
7.          You're having difficulty deciding if it should be classified as YA...or Erotica.
8.          You considered the term non-fiction a loose guideline.
9.          The outline you based your story around looks like Schrödinger's equation.
10.       When asked what POV it's written in, your answer is, "What's a POV?"

Did I leave out any others?

50 comments

  1. Oh no. I think I'm in trouble. haha. Not really.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHAH! These are great! And I wonder if you observed Schrodinger's cat would you either see it pee or not see it pee?. Or both?

    ReplyDelete
  3. ...on your manuscript that is.

    ReplyDelete
  4. These are good! I hope I'm not that bad :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hilarious! Number five is the best.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm feeling a little better now... :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Loved the post. Not too long ago I was talking to an Urban Amish friend about something I had read in someone's blog and #5 was their reply.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This cracked me up! #1 is by far my favorite...if your family isn't on board, you may be in trouble. *grin*

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hmm, this is a great list. I love number 7. It made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  10. LOL! Those are awesome! Love it! Still laughing :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. That is too funny! Thanks for the laugh this morning. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I've had to say #5 to someone once.

    #7 - classic!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Uh-oh to #7... maybe I should rethink querying PPP as a YA novel?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bahahaha to number 3!! I don't have a cat so maybe I should leave my wip at my sister's house and see what her cat does to it. It seems like a perfectly legitimate editing technique. Much faster than all that time taking to revise it myself. Who has time for that?? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ha ha ha, so true! I can't think of any good one right now, but yours are great!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Very funny!

    I just have one question: What is POV?

    ReplyDelete
  17. J.K. "Rowling"

    And no, you cannot do it better than her.

    ReplyDelete
  18. LOL. I better keep all writing away from my cat. Don't want him to mistake it for a litter box.

    ReplyDelete
  19. *wipes Diet Dr Pepper off computer screen* :D

    ReplyDelete
  20. Ha!! Sad that some of these exist somewhere out there! Also the reason why writers must fight an uphill battle. lol

    ReplyDelete
  21. Haha--this is awesome. I live in fear of #5. Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  22. lol... um, yeah. Any answers yes to those and time for a wake up call. Fun list tho!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I hope my novel doesn't fall into any of these categories. Maybe I'll get a response like "No way!", or even worse "This is a great read when you're trying to get sleepy."

    Your trouble signs sound accurate.


    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  24. My #11 "What language is this in, anyway?"

    ReplyDelete
  25. Number five would absolutely crush me...I've had beta readers say, "This sounds a lot like X-BOOK-THAT-JUST-CAME-OUT-THAT-I-HAVEN'T-HEARD-OF-YET." That's a real stinker after you've pumped out 75,000 words...

    ReplyDelete
  26. What to cats know about fine literature, pfft.

    ReplyDelete
  27. YA... or Erotica. Ohmigod funny!

    Well, at least now I know I am genuinely NOT alone with my feelings of suckiness.

    Thanks for the hearty laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hilarious. I'm going to go put on my (front) Schrodinger's cat is dead/(back) Schrondinger's cat is alive t-shirt.

    ReplyDelete
  29. thank God my novel is safe! :)

    ReplyDelete
  30. I'm a sucker for a top ten list. This one rocks. I'm sitting on my deck and I laughed out loud at #2 and #7, inadvertently disturbing a golfer in the middle of his swing. Ooops!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Haha! Oh my. Now I'm worried. :) Love the one about the kitty.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Oh yeah, I think you got that list down pretty correctly.

    I might also add that "You often say, 'it's 200,000 words and there's nothing wrong with that.'"

    ReplyDelete
  33. J.K. Rowland? Ha! Well that's certainly a major warning sign! Not to mention if "your having difficulty" instead of "you're having difficulty" - definitely a novel in trouble!

    What a great list :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. If I printed mine current wip out, the cat would most certainly pee on it!

    ReplyDelete
  35. LOL! Yup. #6. I mean, who isn't going to be the next J.K.?

    ReplyDelete
  36. OM gosh. Too funny. Mine doesn't have any of these. Does it? :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. I literally laughed out loud at #7 :). Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  38. BAH!!! This is an awesome list! :D I know everybody's raving about #7, but I also liked #1... *shivers* :D Thanks for the laugh, DL! <3

    ReplyDelete
  39. Hilarious list. Iloved numbers 1,4 and 8.

    ReplyDelete

 

Archives

Blog Blitz

Design by: The Blog Decorator