Q is for Quibble




You know, there are some people who love to argue. I think most of them live in New York, but actually you can find them just about everywhere. Those people thrive on conflict – they actually feel more alive when they’re in the middle of a good knock down drag out.

Me…I despise disagreements! Social conflict is something I will actively run away from. That’s one reason I’ll get up and walk out of the room when somebody begins a discussion about religion or politics – because everyone knows that the possibility of a quarrel skyrockets when you bring either of those subjects into a conversation. I also rarely offer an opinion when asked – about anything – because as soon as you do the person asking will want to tell you his or hers, then try and convince you why you’re wrong.

The reason I picked quibble for today’s word/topic is because of the way a cute word can communicate such a harsh meaning. Granted, quibbling hovers on the border of true arguing, tending to be used when hair-splitting, fussiness, or nit-picking is involved. But it can just as easily be used to downplay, or explain-away negative behavior (“that wasn’t an argument, we were just quibbling”).

But no matter how hard we try to avoid confrontation ultimately ending with a dispute, eventually it’s going to happen (I am married after all). I’ve been told many times that when I argue, my eyes turn black. That’s because my pupils – those things that look like round, black dots in the center of the eyes, but actually openings that allow light to enter the eyes – have dilated in response to the change in my emotional state. The size of the opening is controlled by the iris, the colored portion of the eye surrounding the pupil. The pupils constantly change size in response to light, to the eye’s focusing distance, and to emotions. In my case, the result is rather dramatic when I’m angered.

And that’s where my character flaw lies. Those people I mentioned in my opening…the ones who love to argue…they can do it without getting overly emotional. If you measured their blood pressure and heartbeat while in the midst of a squabble, you’d think they were enjoying a no-fat latte while strolling through the park listening to Bruno Mars. Me, I’m the exact opposite, which is why I avoid arguing at all cost.

What about you? How to you handle a good quibble? :)

8 comments

  1. I don't like confrontation either. Some people relish a good fight. Actually, it's fun to mess with those people by refusing to fight. They don't know how to handle a non-response!

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  2. I hate arguing. I once had a best friend who loved it though, and she'd constantly try to pull me into disagreements. Suffice it to say, we aren't very close anymore ... Luckily my husband feels the same way I do about arguing, and despite being married 8 and a half years, we've never fought even once. We're both very good about discussing things in a loving way. Thank goodness, because I hate the conflict and emotions that come with it!

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  3. I hate confrontations and arguments. I hate them so much that I start to sweat and my heart rate rises. But I find myself in them all the time with my older siblings.

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  4. I definitely do not like loud argumentative confrontations. None of us can always agree on everything, so let us agree to disagree and not get angry and hostile about it. Quibbling though... quibbling to me is more about being picky... "The fork goes on the left side of the plate, not the right." "Spread jam with a spoon, not a knife."

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  5. I'm like Chrys. I do not deal well with confrontation, or really negative judgement. I will avoid if at all possible, so what am I doing choosing writing as a profession? Ha! Lisa, co-host AtoZ 2015, @ http://www.lisabuiecollard.com

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  6. I try to avoid at all costs. I really hate quibbling. That little knit picking where someone has to change/add some tiny thing just to be 'more' correct. I walk, no run away from those people and their discussions.

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  7. I have no problems with friendly disagreements, but full-on confrontation is just nasty and unpleasant. You're right, though--some people really do seem to revel in it. Go figure. I love the philosophy of Bish's comment above--"spread jam with a spoon, not a knife."

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  8. I'm not good at quibbling, but I love a good debate.

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